Working nights there is a lot of down time here at FOB Shank. We have an officer here in charge of personal who is a Lt and she is very young and way too peppy. She is very nice but she says things like Golly Gee Willakers and good golly gum drops and I feel obligated due to my established morals and values to harass her. She was given a Santa Pen that has dangly legs and arms in which she would bring to meetings and as she talked she would spin in around where the legs and arms swing around. VERY distracting and annoying. If you could have seen my face watching her do this you would have seen a Caton look portraying disbelief, humor, mixed with a little bit of confusion. Confusion, in the fact that I would never brief my commanding officer with a twirly Santa pen.....but that is just me. Apparently, she has set a precedence of this sort of activity that my XO (commanding officer) is immune to it.
Therefore, I took it upon myself to steal the pen, take a picture of it hanging from a nail, with a firearm pointing at it with the post - it note saying "No,NO, NO" instead of HoHoHo. I then wrote a ransom note demanding good coffee to be dropped at a drop site in which I supplied a diagram marking the drop site. I then climbed into the personal office, put the ransom note and picture in the Lt. office and exited without any evidence of how I got in the locked office.
I plan to give the Santa back to her tonight after checking the drop site. She handled it in good fun and she knows it was me although I was very elusive in seeing her that day.
Working midnight to noon brings out the creative and bored side out of many......Take that as an acceptable explanation for my actions.
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